Fisting – the careful insertion of a hand into the anus (most often the case for MSM) or the vagina – can be an extremely intense and enriching sexual experience for all involved. However, it’s important to approach it with trust, good preparation, and a sense of humor. “Safer Fisting” means minimizing risks without dampening the pleasure. Here, we give you general tips on how to make fisting safer and more enjoyable, without sacrificing fun.

Many underestimate how much the mind plays a role: if you feel mentally ready, the chances of your body letting go increase. Plan the session consciously – no rushed action at three in the morning when you’re both half asleep, but rather a date you can look forward to. Prepare the room: dimmed lights, a cozy stack of towels, possibly a space heater in winter or a fan in summer, and soft music that relaxes you instead of distracting. When you feel comfortable, your body reacts more smoothly; this not only makes insertion easier but also enhances the feeling of pleasure for both.

Open communication is key. Before you start, talk to each other about your experiences, boundaries, and expectations. Consent comes first – both partners should genuinely want to do it and be able to say “no” at any time without it being awkward.

Agree on a signal or codeword in advance that the receptive partner (the fisted person) can use to pause or stop at any time. Even if you’re in ecstasy up to your elbow, a “stop” must always be respected!

Good communication builds trust and reduces fear – and with trust, it’s much easier to relax.

A three-stage traffic light system has proven practical: “Green” means continue, “Yellow” means slow down or hold, “Red” means immediate stop. Many also use non-verbal signs (e.g., tapping the thigh three times) if speaking is difficult. Discuss your health beforehand: When was your last STI test? Are there chronic bowel diseases or hemorrhoids that should be considered? Honesty here prevents nasty surprises – and shows that you take responsibility for each other.

Relaxation is key. Fisting is not a competition, and certainly not a sprint – it’s more like a marathon of serenity. Take your time for extensive foreplay: massages, kissing, showering together, or whatever helps you loosen up. The anus (or vaginal opening) relaxes best when the passive partner is aroused and mentally ready.

Deep breathing and consciously relaxing the pelvic floor help enormously. Some swear by “pushing”, i.e., gentle bearing down as if having a bowel movement, to facilitate insertion – try what feels good. Important: No alcohol or drug pressure for “disinhibition” – too much can dull pain perception, increasing the risk of injury. Better to relax naturally (a glass of sparkling wine is okay, but no anesthetic cocktails).

Tip: If you know a fist is making its grand appearance today, avoid extremely large meals shortly beforehand. Many find it more comfortable if the bowel is not completely full. A trip to the toilet beforehand can work wonders. (Details on bowel cleansing can be found in the article “Hygiene & Preparation”.)

Additionally, anal dilator sets can help slowly prepare the sphincter. Start with small sizes days or weeks beforehand and gradually increase. Some enjoy a warm bath right before the session: the warmth relaxes the muscles, while essential oils (e.g., lavender) help calm the mind. If you meditate, you can incorporate a short breathing exercise – inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, exhale for eight – to reduce stress and lower your pulse.

If you thought you had enough lube – grab twice as much! 😉 Lube is your best friend when fisting. Without enough lube, it feels about as sexy as sandpaper. So: slippery instead of scratchy! Use a thick, long-lasting lubricant (special fisting gels, e.g., water- or silicone-based, are excellent). Important: Oil-based products (e.g., Vaseline or fatty ointments) destroy latex gloves. If you like greasy classics like Crisco, use nitrile gloves, which tolerate oil better. No matter which lube – the main thing is plenty of it, and reapply before it dries out. Keep the bucket handy by the bed! It’s better for the hand to slip out too easily than for anything to get chafed. Use the FFUCK DUST powder, which we developed from the community for safe fisting.

Remember: When fisting, there can’t be too much lube, only too little. If you feel like you’re both as slippery as two eels – perfect! And if the sheets get soaking wet, lay out towels or a waterproof mat beforehand. Preparation is everything.

Another nerdy detail: Water-based gels wash off easily but dry faster; silicone stays lubricated longer but can stain fabrics. Hybrid gels combine both. Experiment with temperature: some warm gels feel luxurious, others swear by the cooling kick of a room-temperature tube. Flavor or scent additives are nice but should be sugar-free, otherwise, bacteria will rejoice.

Even if it’s tempting to go “skin-to-skin” – disposable gloves are worth their weight in gold for fisting. They protect both partners from injuries and infections: the glove covers fingernails and rough spots, reducing scratches in the sensitive bowel. It also acts as a barrier against blood and other fluids, significantly reducing the risk of, for example, HIV or hepatitis. Important: A fresh glove must be used for each person and each body opening – no switching from one to the other without a new glove! And of course, each partner should have their own lubricant pot (i.e., don’t reach into the same gel pot for multiple people with the same lubed hand). Sounds logical, but it effectively prevents the transmission of Hepatitis C and other STIs.

Pay attention to the right size of gloves – too tight and your hand will go numb, too loose and the feeling will be lost. Latex or nitrile is a matter of taste (nitrile is better for allergy sufferers and oil fans). Put the gloves on before everything gets slippery, otherwise, it’ll be a struggle to get the rubber on.

In addition to gloves, well-maintained hands are a must. Trim your fingernails and file them smooth until there are no sharp edges left. Remove rings, watches, pointy bracelets – anything that doesn’t belong inside. Imagine how a sharp ring feels inside… ouch! In short: the fist-to-be should be as soft and smooth as possible before it goes anywhere.

Extra tip: Some active partners swear by “double-gloving” – two thin layers of nitrile one over the other. If the outer layer tears, the inner one remains intact. Powder-free variants avoid talc residues that can otherwise cause irritation, and colored gloves (black, purple) not only look sexy but also immediately reveal blood or stool residue, so you notice early if something is wrong.

Perhaps the most important rule: slowness. Rome wasn’t built in a day – and no one will go all the way to the wrist on the first try. Start with one or two fingers, gently circle, feel how the muscle reacts. Then gradually insert more fingers, step by step. Take breaks: go out a bit, come back in, reapply lube in between. Observe your partner’s body language: Are they tensing up? Are they breathing faster (not just from pleasure)? Then it’s time to stop or take a break.

For the passive partner: You set the pace. The feeling of stretching can be intense and sometimes unusual, but it should never turn into brutal pain. A slight burning or pulling sensation at the beginning is okay – a signal to slow down, but it doesn’t have to stop completely. Slowly increase the depth and width; there’s no prize for the fastest fist in the world. When in doubt, it’s better to have several sessions over weeks to gradually increase. Patience pays off – your body will thank you, and the reward is a much more pleasant experience.

By the way, everyone has their limits. Not every anus will accommodate an entire forearm – and that’s perfectly fine. Fisting is not a competition. If only four fingers go in, just enjoy that! It’s about pleasure, not inches.

Many couples use training tools like inflatable anal dildos or Kegel exercises for the pelvic floor to specifically target the muscles. Those who practice yoga or Pilates benefit from the breathing and body control learned there. And remember: plan enough recovery time between sessions; an overstretched muscle needs rest, otherwise, you risk micro-injuries.

“No pain, no gain” might apply in the gym, but not with fisting. Of course, this practice can be more intense than “normal” sex, but the thrill comes from trust and ecstasy, not from actual pain. Therefore, listen carefully to the signals of your body (or your partner’s). Pain is a warning sign. If it hurts sharply, burns, or even bleeds, stop immediately. A little muscle soreness or slight sensitivity afterward can be normal, but severe pain or blood are alarm signs. In case of doubt, it’s better to stop and, if necessary, seek medical advice than to force anything.

For the active partner, this means: Be mindful and gentle. Never fist with brute force or fast, uncontrolled movements. The inner mucous membrane is sensitive and prone to scratches – that’s why gloves and plenty of lube are essential. Feel your way forward, use your fingers to check for resistance. If you notice it’s too tight or your partner tenses up, pause. Communicate: “Is everything okay? Continue or pause?” – such questions show that you are paying attention and give the bottom confidence.

Humor, by the way, is a good companion: a lighthearted remark can relieve tension. Laughter relaxes the muscles! But of course, not at the expense of concentration – fingers (or fist) in the right place and no slapstick, please.

Should small tears in the mucous membrane occur, zinc or panthenol ointments can help with healing. Refrain from further stretching activities in the following days so that the tissue can regenerate. In case of persistent pressure, fever, or unusual discharge: See a doctor, it’s better to get it checked once too often!

Done? High five (or rather: low five 😉) – you’ve shared something very intimate! But even after fisting, there are a few things to consider. Pull the hand (or fist) out slowly and carefully – just as with insertion: no jerky movements. The passive partner should then be allowed to rest and feel the sensations for a bit. Aftercare is important: cuddling, a warm drink, or simply relaxing and breathing together – whatever helps to calm down. Physically, you can do the following:

• Cleaning: The active partner carefully removes the glove (turning it inside out at the cuff to avoid spills) and thoroughly washes their hands. The passive partner can gently clean the anal area with lukewarm water (without aggressive soap to avoid irritating the skin).

• Check: Check if everything is okay. No unusual blood? No persistent pain? Great. With small superficial injuries (e.g., tears in the mucous membrane), a slight burning sensation during urination may occur – drink plenty of water, which dilutes the urine, so it burns less. For more severe pain or visible bleeding, it’s better to see a doctor.

• Relaxation: The passive partner might feel a pulling sensation in the abdomen or a “slightly open” feeling – this is normal and usually subsides after a short time. A warm bath or a gentle abdominal massage can help calm the muscles.

• Praise and Feedback: Talk to each other about what was good and what could be different next time. Positive reinforcement (“You did great!”) works wonders for trust. And if something wasn’t so great, you can calmly discuss it now.

Last but not least: keep your sense of humor. Should a “mishap” occur (e.g., a bit more “brown sauce” than expected – happens even with an enema), deal with it calmly. Throw a towel over it, laugh together, and continue cuddling. It’s part of it and it’s human.

After a particularly long or intense session, an isotonic drink or a small snack (banana, muesli bar) can help stabilize circulation. Some couples arrange a “check-in” the next day via message or phone: “Are you okay? Does your body feel good?” – this shows that you care about each other even after the adventure. Emotional aftercare is just as important as physical; after all, you have explored a boundary together and deepened your intimacy.

Finally, it’s worth looking at some additional aspects that can play a role in regular or intensive fisting. These topics are so important that they might deserve their own chapter – here we provide a brief overview:

• Bowel Health and Mucosal Protection: The bowel is a robust organ, but frequent fisting can strain it. Ensure sufficient breaks between intense sessions so that any micro-tears in the mucous membrane can heal.
  
  Injuries (such as fissures or hemorrhoids) should heal completely before fisting again, otherwise, complications or infections may occur.
  
  Lube is your mucous membranes’ best friend – use plenty of it so nothing rubs dry. Some experienced fisters like to use nourishing creams or aloe vera gel after cleaning the anus to keep the skin supple (but do not use these products as a lubricant substitute during fisting!).
  
  Warning Sign Incontinence: If you notice that you have more difficulty holding stool after frequent fisting, talk to a proctologist.
  Regular pelvic floor training can help counteract this. And please do not insert extreme objects – the bowel is flexible, but not an infinite cavity. When in doubt: Safety first, seek medical advice if unsure.
  

• Chemsex and Drug Use: In some scenes (e.g., at parties or “playrooms”), fisting is combined with psychoactive substances to enhance sensations or reduce inhibitions.
  
  Chemsex refers to the use of drugs during sex – typical examples include poppers, crystal meth, GHB/GBL, or ketamine in the context of longer group sex sessions.
  
  Caution: Drugs can reduce pain sensation, meaning injuries during fisting might not be noticed in time. Risk-taking also increases under the influence, and safer sex rules are more likely to be ignored. Additionally, polydrug use puts enormous strain on the circulatory system; dangerous situations like overheating or unconsciousness can occur.
  
  If you engage in chemsex, inform yourselves very well about the substances: Know the dosages and interactions, look out for each other, and don’t leave anyone alone who is having a bad trip.
  
  Plan breaks in advance for drinking and resting. And despite being high, remember the basics: wear gloves, use new needles, your own snorting tube, etc., to avoid infections.
  
  Many major cities now offer counseling services for chemsex users, e.g., on safe use and exit strategies – don’t hesitate to seek help if drug use gets out of control.
  

• Psychological Well-being and Consent: Intense sex like fisting can be emotionally very charged. Trust and surrender play a big role.
  
  Therefore, pay attention not only to the body but also to the emotional component. Both partners should feel comfortable and respected at all times. Consent (Consent) is paramount – fisting should never be forced under pressure or to please “forced”.
  
  After a session, it can be helpful to cuddle or talk together (aftercare) to mentally “come down” again. This strengthens your bond and helps process the experiences positively.
  

• Medical Questions: For regular fisting, it may be advisable to consider medical check-ups, especially with a proctologist (rectal specialist).
  
  They can, for example, examine whether everything is healthy and firm, treat hemorrhoids, or give tips on bowel health. Don’t be shy – doctors are quite familiar with such practices, and even if not, it’s your right to speak openly about your sexual practice to receive appropriate medical advice.

Finally, it must be said: Fisting is a fascinating practice that – when done correctly – can bring much pleasure, trust, and intimacy. At the same time, it challenges us to handle our bodies responsibly. By informing ourselves (just as you are doing now), consciously minimizing risks, and looking out for each other, we create the foundation for “dirty play” to become a safe, fulfilling experience. In this sense: stay safe, open, and enjoy it! Safer Fisting everyone! 🖐️💖